I have been trying to find God for most of my life. But this site isn’t only about that…

God has been a central part of my life’s pursuit. Many times to frustrating extremes. Trying to capture a sense of something that you can’t touch, feel or see. And yet undeniably He is there. Perhaps no more so than in these later years where time is in abundance. An affluent resource to work with or to waste.

It was in that abundance of time that something became clearer. The slowing down that I made little time for created a kind of stillness— and in that stillness I started to see things I had been moving too quickly to notice or even remember. Namely this— that I was not alone in the disorientation of this season. That there were a lot of men in their fifties and sixties navigating a transition that nobody had prepared them for and very few were talking about honestly.

The shift from a career that defined them to a season that doesn’t yet have a name. The silence where the emails used to be. The question that surfaces somewhere around six in the morning — What am I actually here for?

I spent over thirty years in executive search, sitting across from accomplished people at every stage of their careers. In my final years I started noticing something new — a quiet anxiety in candidates who sensed their career had plateaued or run its course. “I don’t know what my next step is.” “What if this is as far as it goes?” Those comments stayed with me.

What I’ve come to understand is that struggle doesn’t have to be catastrophic to be serious. In the silence — unacknowledged, unnamed, carried alone — it compounds. What begins as a quiet disorientation can become something much heavier. And the men most at risk are often the ones least likely to say anything. Asking for help runs against everything the working years rewarded. You were paid for answers. What if all you can come up with are questions?

I recognized something of myself in all of it. Not in crisis — but in the quieter, more disorienting experience of just sitting still and realizing that I wasn’t as “relevant” or needed as I used to be. That’s what the world of “non-work” can do.

So I started writing. It was a way to navigate my own understanding of this. I am not a therapist or a psychologist. I’m an observer. What I hope to offer is simply a place where the questions get named honestly — and where men navigating this terrain realize they are not alone.

That’s what this site is about. Yes, God’s right in the middle of it—- because that’s the lens I see it through. But it doesn’t have to be for you.

Oh, and one last thing.

Still waters, as they say, run deep. If you’re looking for peppy, perky prose here, you won’t find it. Its bumpy and honest… I hope you tag along.